I'm going! To Brazil that is. As in, I actually purchased my ticket! Don't you want to know where I'm going? I'm sure the suspense is killing you, because obviously my choice of city is all you've been thinking about for the past several weeks, right? Oh wait, no, that's all I've been thinking about.
So, I bought my ticket to.....RECIFE!
(image found here)
Now, having said that, I'm not sure if I'll actually decide to live in Recife, but here's my reasoning. Recife is a large city (3 million plus people, depending on how you count the city versus 'metropolitan area) and seems to have a lot going for it in terms of cultural interest (music scene, architecture, etc), is on the coast, in the northeast, and I don't think I'd be bored. It also has a reputation for being dangerous though....but, if I don't like it, Olinda is a smaller city right next door, and I have a feeling I'll really like it there. Then there's also Joao Pessoa, which is only a couple hours away. JP seems perfect, except for the fact that there seem to be a ton of foreigners there, so I think I'd have a hard time finding work teaching English. So I'm planning on spending my first couple weeks visiting all three cities and seeing which one I like best, and to check out job opportunities.
Have I ever been there? Nope. So I'm excited to get to know a new part of Brazil, but I'm also freaking out a little. Let's review the situation. For a year and a half, I dated a Bahiano (Brazilian from the state of Bahia) long distance. We were totally in love, and for the last 10 months of our relationship, I considered moving there to be with him, and eventually decided to. I spent months researching, fantasizing, and mentally planning out how things might turn out. Then, out of no where, he broke up with me. So.....I decided that he didn't get to take away all of my dreams and excitement, so I was going to go anyway. At first I was set on still going to Salvador, because I love it there, and it felt comfortable. I knew my way around (more or less). I knew what neighborhoods I would want to live in, and those that I should avoid. I had a couple (two, exactly) friends there. Basically, the break up caused the world to collapse in under me, suddenly my plans were stolen, and even contemplating taking on the challenge of going somewhere new gave me butterflies. But I gave myself time to think about it, and I talked to a lot of people about it (a special shout out to Paulistinha from My life in Havaianas for forcing me to think about things from another perspective), and I realized that going back to the city that held so many memories of my relationship and where my ex still lives, would make my life really really difficult. And in the end, I think I'll be much happier somewhere new, even though it will mean starting over. Or perhaps because it will mean starting over.
So, I'm going to a new place, by myself, where I don't know anyone, have to find a place to live, and have to find a job. Who came up with this plan?!?! Ok, so I do sort of know someone, a friend from college who is from Olinda, but she's a senior now so she won't be there when I arrive because she'll be in Massachussets. Luckily, I think she'll help connect me with her friends and family, and possibly even a job opportunity, so that may help. But, I'm still getting nervous! I leave March 10th, in less than 2 months!
Oh! Also, I think I'm going to try to rent a room in a shared apartment with other young people. It'll be a good way to meet people, improve my portuguese, and have a bit of a support system, and it'll be cheaper. But I could end up with roommates from hell...I'm mostly just worried that I'll feel very isolated in my own apartment (though I can afford it if I need to). What do you guys think?
So....if anyone has advice for going to LIVE in a new place (I've travelled alone but that's totally different) basically on your own, I'd love to hear it. And if anyone has any connections in Recife/Olinda/Joao Pessoa, please do share :) Especially any housing/job info, but I'm up for new friends too! Basically, I just love comments :) So any lurkers out there, feel free to join in, I promise I don't bite!
Wait! I almost forgot! What the heck do I do about my blog name/title? I guess I have to keep the url the same, right? Or is there any way to change it through blogger without starting a new blog? If I do have to keep the url, I can at least change title that shows up on the page....but I'm drawing a blank as to what I should title it. Girl Meets Brazil? It doesn't quite have the same ring to it...
I just have to say a huge thank you to everyone who replied to my last post! I never was really sure why I started this blog in the first place until now. It was so I could be a part of this community of people that share similar interests and experiences in relation to Brazil and Brazilians. I wrote my last post searching for some advice and guidance, but I never expected to get so many responses and to feel so much love and support for everyone! There were a couple people especially who went above and beyond in giving me a ton of advice, even though are simply fellow bloggers that I have never met. I can't tell you all how touched I am and how much it really means to feel so much kindness from so many of you.
As for my plans, well, I'm still figuring it out. I am definitely going to Brazil, and I definitely want to settle in one place, I just have to figure out where. Although I LOVE to travel, and I've been fortunate enough to do a lot of it, I really want to get to know one place well. There are tons of places in Brazil that I'd still liketo visit, and I'm hoping to do a bit of that when I go, but it's not what I want to do for several months and I don't really have the budget for that anyway. At first I was really feeling set on going back to Salvador, but I've been really reconsidering that. I absolutely love the city, but I'm not sure it's worth it to endure all the pain and discomfort of going back there when I could just go somewhere new. At the same time, trying to figure out what other city I'd like to live in and be able to find a job too is daunting. I would love to go somewhere similar to Salvador (particularly on the coast and with similar culture and liveliness), so I'm thinking it would be good to stay in the Northeast.
I'm considering a few places but would love to hear more if anyone has personal experiences or any input on the following places. I'm thinking about Recife/Olinda, because I've heard there's great cultural stuff, lots to do, on the coast, and I think job prospects are good. But I've heard Recife is dangerous (is this more true than Salvador, because I heard that a lot about Salvador, and while it can be dangerous I felt ok most of the time). Plus, aren't the waters there shark infested? I also have heard Joao Pessoa is nice and safe and great beaches, but it seems that there are lots of foreigners there and finding work teaching english would be hard, plus I wonder if it would get boring because it's a smaller city. These three cities are within a couple hours of each other (Recife and Olinda are right next door) so I like the idea of spending my first couple weeks in Brazil visiting these places and at least having a few easy options. Then I'm also considering Natal, Fortaleza, and Maceio, but I don't know much about these places and they seem to get mixed reviews. These cities are further spread out though and I would have to just go to onevand then if I didn't like it I'd have to spend lots of money to go somewhere else.
So...if anyone knows anything about these cities or has any other suggestions of where to go, please let me know!
Thank you all so much from the bottom of my heart,
Elena
We broke up. And by that I mean, he broke up with me. Shocked? So was I. I won't go in to all the details because it's obviously personal and I'm not into sharing the most intimate details of my life with total strangers, but I will explain a bit. The past couple months haven't been ideal, but I thought things were going ok. We hadn't been talking as often, or rather, he wasn't available to talk as much, and when we did talk the conversations weren't as great as they used to be. But I figured it had to do with the distance and busy work lives. As far as I knew, I was expected to arrive in Brazil in February (although I hadn't yet bought a ticket) and everything would be ten times better once we could be 'together.'
Well, it turns out not-so-dear boyfriend had been very happy with our relationship and just didn't really feel the way he used to about me. Which came as a shock since he never, not once since I visited him in August, mentioned this or hinted towards it! I was am crushed. Betrayed. I could list a million different emotions that seem to come and go like waves at the beach, but I'm not going to get into that. We dated for almost two years, and now it's over. It sucks. A lot. And thats that.
Except it's not, because now I have to figure out what the hell to do with my life. I've been thinking of/planning on going to Salvador (Brazil) for so long now (about a year) that it became about more than just going to be with my boyfriend. It also became about being abroad, about being engrossed in another culture (did that for 6 months in Chile and loooved it), about perfecting my portuguese, about the new challenge of teaching english, about moving out of my parents' house and being more independent. And now, despite the fact that the major reason for considering this move in the first place doesn't exist anymore, I still want to go. And not just to Brazil, but I still want to go to Salvador. Some of my friends think it wouldn't be a good idea. But I love the city. Then again, I fell in love in the city on my fourth day there and have gone there twice since then to visit someone I loved. So I find myself questioning how much of adoration of Salvador is the city itself and how much it has to do with my state of mind and my relationship. Don't get me wrong, there are things I don't like about it, but there are way more that I do (beaches, relaxed atmosphere, awesome music/dancing, wonderfully friendly people (in general).
Combine that with getting sick of my nannying job here in the states and considering this might be my only easy chance to go abroad for an extended period of time. So do I still go? I'm not entertaining any fantasies that we might get back together if I go, and I know it will be hard in a lot of ways because of all the memories I have there. But I also almost want to reclaim the city for myself. If that makes any sense at all. Should I consider going somewhere else in Brazil? Anyone want to sell me on where you are? Sorry
Danielle, but I'm not sure Caipiropolis is the place for me! Would it be better to heal and move in some place new? I don't know....
This just makes my life so freakin complicated. Now if I do go I have to figure out where to live (and either pay for an apartment by myself when i thought I'd be splitting it) or risk moving into a shared apartment with people I don't even know (but maybe they'll become friends?). I won't have someone to help me buy a cellphone. Or to show me how to pay bills. Or to call the landlord when the faucet breaks. Or to help promote me as an English teacher. Gahhhhhh, it's not fair. I hate this.
So I did my best to wait and post this so that it wouldn't be a totally down in the dumps, depressing, complain fest (I know it still kind of was), but I need your help! Obviously this has to ultimately be my decision since I know the situation best. But I would love some input please!
No, not the "Guess what? I made a last minute trip to Brazil!" kind of surprise, that's only in my dreams. But the kind of, "Wow, I didn't expect this, but it's nice anyway" kind of surprise. Let me backtrack now.
So, before my last trip to Salvador, dear boyfriend informed me that he wouldn't be able to pick me up at the airport because he wouldn't be able to get out of work. I was slightly disappointed, mostly because I had been envisioning our reunion at the airport for months, but it really didn't phase me. I told him not to worry about it because I could just take the bus from the airport, something I had already done a couple times before. It wouldn't be complicated or annoying because there was a bus stop right in front of my hotel, I knew the route, and I would only have a small suitcase. He kept apologizing and saying how bad he felt that he wouldn't be there, but I insisted it really wasn't a problem and that I would be happy to see him later on the day of my arrival. Hey, at least then I'd have time to shower and freshen up after a long day of travel!
Now let's fastforward to my arrival in Salvador. I was exhausted after basically an entire day of travel, but luckily I didn't have to wait long at customs or for my bag to arrive. As I exited the baggage area to the area where friends and family awaited their loved ones and taxi drivers held up signs for business people, I glanced around without expecting Isaque to be there but figuring there was a chance he might. I didn't see him, so I continued walking towards the buses, carrying my rolling suitcase with the broken handle (now why didn't I notice that when I was packing?!), when I suddenly heard a female voice from behind me call my name. Surprised, I turned around to see a young woman about my age asking if I was Elena. I said yes, and she told me dear boyfriend had sent her to pick me up and that her parents were waiting outside in the car. I was a little confused and quite tired after my journey, but I said that it was nice of her to come and asked her name. That was when I realized that this was his sister whom I hadn't recognized! Oops, well if I wasn't already nervous enough about seeming stupid because of my portuguese, then this certainly didn't help! In my defense, I had never met her before, and I was tired, and I didn't expect her to be there. Then as we walked out the door, I realized that the parents that were waiting in the car, who were now standing right in front of me, were also dear boyfriend's parents! Yeah, it took me a minute to connect the dots there. I was mostly in shock, because this was my first time meeting his family, and not only did they surprise me but I was meeting them without dear bf there! But I gave them hugs and climbed in the car.
They turned out to be very sweet and took me to lunch at a great por kilo (buffet by weight) place, even taking into consideration that I was vegetarian in their choice of restaurant. We chatted about different things, mostly them asking me questions and me doing my best to understand and answer them. But it was nice, it didn't feel like an interrogation at all, and I figured out that dear boyfriend's habit of buying me food even when I haven't asked for it is certainly a family trait (I got a picole--popsicle out if it!). The restaurant was lovely, and although there were a few awkward silences, I felt really comfortable with his parents and with his sister, who is a real sweetheart. On the way to my hotel from the airport, she even told me lots of information about buildings I had passed before multiple times with dear boyfriend and he had never bothered to mention half the things she told me!
After lunch they were understanding enough to take me straight to my hotel so I could rest, and I finally saw dear boyfriend later that night after a luxuriously long nap and plenty of time to get myself cleaned up. Seeing him again after a whole year of being apart was just amazing! But I want people to actually read this blog, so I won't go into more detail...although maybe I would attract a new group of readers if I did ;)
The point is, despite being somewhat ambushed, I am so glad I met his family and got along with them so well. And in retrospect, I'm really glad they surprised me at the airport, because I was already nervous about meeting them, and if I had known ahead of time when I would meet them I would have worried even more. But this way, didn't even get a chance to stress about it!
I also got to spend more time with them later in the week, this time with dear boyfriend. His mom even suggested going to an indoor feria after noticing how often I asked the names of the cray fruits and especially vegetables while eating. We went to the feria and I got to practice the produce names like sapoti, maxixi, and jilo while his mom bought me fruits I had never tried before.
I was not only surprised to meet dear boyfriend's family so suddenly, but I was surprised at how at ease I felt with them, and that is something that I'm definitely grateful for!
Just thought I'd share that story as something to update this blog since it's been *gasp* a month and a half since my last entry! I was waiting for dear boyfriend to send me photos that we took on his camera during my trip, but that seems to be a hopeless cause! So no photos of the fam just yet, but I'll work on it.
And a big thanks and shout-out to Tricia at Post Cards from Brasil for mentioning me in her "My Favorite Reads" list! If you haven't yet checked out her blog about living with her Brazilian husband in Rio (well, in both Rio and Cleveland), you really should because she's always sharing something interesting.
As a last side-note, I've seen that a surprising number of people visit this blog (way more than I ever expected) so if you're out there lurking and haven't yet left a comment, please feel free to do so :) I promise, I won't bite!
Back home that is. Which means I've left Brazil, and left meu amor. This afternoon, after sulking around the house in my PJ's all day and watching TV, I went out. My mission? Chocolate. Yes, I made a trip to the convenience store a mile down the road just to get chocolate, obviously because it would make me feel better and surely serve as a good companion to combat the loneliness and fill up that empty feeling I had. And what did I come back with? A bag of M&Ms, a chocolate bar, chocolate cookies, and a 6-pack of Magic Hat (beer). As tempted as I was to shove it all in my mouth the moment I got in the car, I had to wait to consume the beer so I figured I'd wait to eat the chocolate too. When I got home, it was nearly time for dinner, and so I actually managed to restrain myself. Since dinner, I've only eaten the pack of cookies (yes, the whole pack), and never even got around to the chocolate. Luckily, dear bf came online in time to save me from gaining 5 pounds (and from gaining a big ole stomach ache) in one night.
Being back sucks. Sure, it's nice to see my family, and to talk to my friends. But despite the pack of cookies and two beers, I feel empty inside. Hollow. If you dropped a pebble inside me I'm sure it would bounce around and cause a as much ruckus as if it were inside a dried out gourd. I want him back. I want us back. Yes, we're still an 'us,' but it's not the same.
What's the next step? We'll have to see. Perhaps he'll come for a visit this winter, but I'm not counting on it, as it's very hard for him to get time off both work and school. Hopefully I'll be going there in March, probably to stay a while and teach English. But that's not an official declaration, as our plans still need to be solidified. All I know is that we love each other very much, and we want to be together, in the same place at the same time, like a 'normal' couple. Is that so much to ask? So we'll see how well me succeed at making that actually happen.
Any suggestions for how to cope with the seperation? I know it will get slightly easier (or at least feel more normal) as time goes on, but right now it kills. It's not even like this is the first time. But it doesn't get any easier.
There's really so much to say about my trip, and about seeing dear boyfriend again, but it's a bit overwhelming. So I'll start with the concrete. I wanted to keep consistenly updated here, but since the hotel's wi-fi hasn't worked since I got here a week ago, that was trickier than planned!
Besides the requisite time on the beach, I've gotten to visit some other cool places during my time here in Salvador. Last saturday evening Dear BF and I met up with a friend of mine from college who is living here, and her boyfriend. We actually went to a party in this little bookstore! It was like nothing I've been to before and not what I expected for my first night out in Brazil (well, first night in over a year). It was this little upstairs bookshop, and they had moved the shelves and covered them all in bubble wrap. The music was kind of a mix of reggae, dancehall, and some other stuff, not much of it brazilian. The DJ was good though, and we had a blast, until we had to escape from the suffocating heat (upstairs bookstores aren't well ventilated the way night clubs are!).
Before heading out for the evening.
Then on sunday, my friend R invited us to a restuarant on the other side of the bay, and then dear BF was nice enough to play chouffer and take us around the city a bit, because R had someone visiting through couchsurfing who was spending her fisrt day in Salvador. It worked out quite perfectly actually, because she spoke portuguese very well and we all just spoke in portuguese. It's odd though speaking to other Americans in portuguese, when you know you could be talking to them in English. Do you find that as well?
First, we headed to Ribeira, a neighborhood in the northern part of the city, and took a little boat over to the other side of the bay to a neighborhood called Plataforma. The boat ride was just so relaxing end enjoyable, I wouldn't have minded staying on there all afternoon!
On the boat over to Plataforma (the two on the left are our friends)
Plataforma is a humble neighborhood (though not a favela) on the water's edge. It has these train tracks that run through it and this cool abandoned building when you first get off the boat.
Plataforma
In plataforma, we headed to Boca da Galinha, a simple, local restaurant that's supposed to have some of the best food around. Dear BF didn't even want to go when my friend R invited us, for fear that there would be nothing for the vegetariana (me) to eat. But I convinced him, and I'm glad I did because it turned out just fine. While everyone else feasted on Moqueca (a traditional Bahian dish of shrimp made with dende--palm oil), I satisfied my appetite with the sides that came with it, mainly rice, beans, and okra. The place was packed--it was Sunday afternoon, after all--and it took us forever to order our food, but we enjoyed ourselves.
Moqueca
Then we headed to the Igreja do Bonfim, which I had been to a couple times, and got the necessary Fitas do Bonfim, which are these colorful ribbons that are supposed to bring good luck and you get three wishes when someone ties it on your arm with three knots. I passed on the tieing it on as a bracelet since the one I got a year and a half ago only fell off about a month ago!
We also had to stop for ice cream (of course!) at the Sorveteria da Ribeira, which is supposed to be the best ice cream in town. They have a ton of crazy flavors, and I got Milho Verde, which is corn flavor! Sounds weird, but it's actually good. Our couchsurfing friend got Tapioca, and that was really good. She also was forced to eat a bite of dear BF's icecream by surprise, but that's another story. But my favorite flavor was definitely dear bf's, condensed milk flavored icecream with chocolate shell on the top. Yummmmmm! Can you tell I loooooove ice cream?
Me trying to steal dear bf's ice cream :P
We were were all ice-creamed out, we headed to this cool fort, sat around, did some people watching, and saw sea cockroaches crawling along the wall. Yup, they're like little cockroaches, but water inhabiting versions. Gross!
After that we headed to Solar do Unhao, one of my favorite places in the city, which has an art museum, is a historic site with old buildings, and is right on the water. It's a great spot for watching the sunset, and appartenly for trying to push the old mini-railcars along the long unused tracks, as we found out. This got quite a laugh out of all of us, especially the Bahiano guys who had been there many times and never thought to attempt this sillyness:
Taking in the nice view (sorry for the quality, it was tricky lighting).
Dear bf had a field day taking pictures the whole day, which I found hilarious because during my last visit, he shied away from the camera every time I tried to take a picture of anything! But I guess he was practicing, because I brought for him this awesome underwater camera from the U.S. (it was only $120, when in Brazil it would have been triple that). We have yet to test it, I think he's scared it'll get messed up, but I've seen other people's underwater videos from the same cam and they're awesome! We're going to a frien'ds beachhouse tonight, so hopefully we'll get a chance to see how it works.
Anyway, during the week I've been mostly hanging out on my own at the beach, which has been nice, but the evenings get a little lonely waiting around for dear bf to get back from classes and not really want to go out on my own at night. I'm am so glad to be here though, and want to take advantage of these next 3 (ahhh, only 3) days here!
More to come later...
Beijos!
I get to see him in less than a week! Finally! It was a last minute trip, just bought the ticket a little over a week ago. It didn't feel real for a while, until yesterday, when I was driving a long way and thinking about him, listening to music, and it suddenly hit me. Yes, we really are going to be together, in real life, in the same place. And it's about time! It has been a year, yes, and entire year since we've seen each other! I can't believe it. In some ways it has been torture, but it also doesn't even feel like that long. But I'm really happy, and I'll be there for a week and a half. Which isn't very long, but hey, it's better than nothing!
Oh, so many things I can't wait for. I can't wait for that first kiss (well not first kiss, but first kiss in a loooooong time). I can't wait to sit on the praia do porto, eating some queijo and drinking agua de coco. I can't wait to sit next to my love and just have a normal conversation, with subtle caresses and slaps on the arm for emphasis, with sly smiles and giggles and all those wonderful parts of expression that can't come across through the internet.
I just feel so grateful that we've finally, through all the ups and downs, gotten the chance to be together again. Only time will tell what happens in the future, how we'll figure out all the complicated parts of our relationship. But for now, I'm just excited, because it's real. It's happening. Yes! And, I will do my very best to keep you updated now that I will actually have things to share on this blog! Anyone have suggestions of things to do/places to go in Salvador? I've done most of the normal touristy things, so I'm looking for other suggestions.
I haven't updated in forever, I know! Well, it's because I haven't had much definite news to update you all on the relationship front. We hit a bit of a rocky patch for a quick minute, but all is well now! I had originally been planning on going to Brazil in September and staying for 6 months and teaching English. But that plan has been changed, and now I'm probably going sometime in the spring (probably March-ish, we'll see). It makes more sense to go then, because I can stay at my Nanny job (it's tiring but great) and save up more money before I go, and dear boyfriend is stressed with a lot right now that should settle down in a few months, so he can actually enjoy having me around.
In the meantime though, there is a really good chance that dear bf and I will FINALLY be seeing each other again! Nothing is set yet (last minute much?), but in August either I'll be going there for a week and half, or he may even come here! That would be wonderful, so he could finally meet my family and friends, and be able to see what the U.S. is like. But he's told me before that he may come (twice) and it never worked out. So I'm not holding my breath. If he can't come, it's fine, I'll just go there, because I already have the time off work. So either way, I'm pretty sure we'll see each other! I'm wary even writing this now though, even thinking about it too much, because it has been so long since we've seen each other and it seems like every time we try to plan a visit, something falls through, and I'm crushed. So until the plane tickets are purchased, visas are granted, blah, blah, blah, I don't want to let myself get too excited. Which is kind of sad, because I want to be excited. But I just can't feel let down again. Not let down by him, but just let down by the situation. So is there hope? Oh yes! But I'm trying to keep it all in, wait it out, even though inside I keep wishing "please make this work, please make this happen!"
The past week has been absolute madness, and really the past month I've been sooo busy (and I thought things would calm down after I graduated, ha!), and that's my excuse for not being active. Let's see, in the past week, I have gotten a ticket for driving the wrong way on a one way street (oops! I swear I didn't know, and no I'm not stupid), driven 8+ hours in one day, that same night gotten a call that my boss was going into labor a week early and needed me to come in to spend the night with the one year old, worked literally around the clock with two, two hour breaks in three days, gotten woken up by a crying baby almost every morning, stubbed my toe and bruised it reallllly bad, and oh, I finally came home to find my laptop dead! See? I told you life has been crazy! Plus, the only stuff going on relationship related was personal stuff that I just don't feel the need to share here (I do have my limits), sorry guys!
So, as more exciting things happen, I will try to keep updated more. And yeah, I say that every time. Well, I'm working on it, ok?
Lately, both dear bf and I have been having work issues. Mine being that I had no work, because I had no job! For months I've been planning to be a Nanny for the summer (U.S. summer that is, June-August). I became a member of several babysitting/nannying websites, and often sent messages in response to job postings. But I received hardly any responses, despite the fact that I am highly qualified! Yeah, degree in education, years babysitting, time spent in many many classrooms, but still people didn't respond! It was also tricky because I'm taking a photography class two nights a week (more on that later) in New York (I live in New Jersey, but very close to NYC), so I'd have to leave work at 4pm two days a week, which is tricky when you have two working parents that need someone there with the kids. Then there were a lot of people who wanted a long term commitment (1-2+ years), which I wasn't willing to do. There were others who only wanted a couple days a week, and I really needed as much work as possible to save up some money because I'm broke right now. Then, there were those who were offering practically nothing for pay, and with my qualifications I wasn't willing to settle that low. Maybe I was being picky, but hey, I think I'm worth something, and I don't think I was expecting too much!
So starting the beginning of this past week, I still had nothing set for the summer and I was getting anxious. I was stressed. I had called a summer camp/family center/daycare I had previously worked for in High School to see if they had any positions open (even with the lousy pay, I figured it would be better than nothing), but they never called back. So I decided to check out craigslist for non-childcare related jobs, and found a couple office jobs that looked promising. On Monday, I called and set up two interviews for Tuesday. Not ten minutes later, I get a call from a woman about a Nanny job! She wanted to meet right away, so I set up an interview with her on Tuesday as well! So yeah, I spent monday night refining my resume and making a few different versions, printing directions, and just feeling nervous. I ended up running around the whole day to these interviews, and they actually went well! One was really intense because the company was expanding and they were interviewing around 30 people at the same time for several positions. I ended up getting offered a full time position there as a marketing trainee, basically going to people's houses and selling them products. I originally went there to interview for a part-time clerical office position! I was pleasantly surprised. At that point, I didn't know yet whether I was being offered the Nanny position, but had a good feeling about it. The family seemed wonderful.
Long story short, I have a job! I declined the marketing position, because it wasn't something I was all that interested in, and the family for the Nanny job seems wonderful and the pay is good, although not as great as the other position. Plus, I wasn't looking for a full time position, just something for the summer (more on that in another post). I'll be working mostly with a 1 year old girl (she is ADORABLE!),and the 9 year old girl when she's home in the afternoons. The mom is also expecting another baby in 6 weeks, so she'll be home, but obviously busy (I don't have to care for the newborn). I'm not worried about the Mom being home because I really like her a lot, she seems great. So that's a releif! I start tomorrow, so we'll see how it goes!
I'm taking this photography class though, and it's cool, but way harder and more time-consuming than I expected! It's film photography, so we process and develop our own film, which is awesome, but really complicated and takes such a long time! It's going to be tricky trying to fit that in with the job because I need to go into the lab (in NY) separate from class to do some of the work. So I think my sunday afternoons and evenings are going to be spent there every week! Once I get some good prints, maybe I'll try to scan them if I'm feeling confident. We have a critique on Tuesday (yeah, this is serious), so wish me luck, I'm so nervous!
Now for the second half of the work woes, which doesn't have such a happy ending, unfortunately. So, aside from being tired of his job as an accountant and kind of bored there, dear bf is having other issues with his job. For months now, we've been hoping that he could come visit me here in July. You see, he works full time and goes to law school at night, so he's busy, which makes it hard for him to come for a visit. But he has 'winter' break from school in July, so he figured he could get time off from work and come then. He works for a state government agency, and apparently after working there for several years (which he has) you get the right to up to 3 months leave. So he applied for leave for just one month in July, and they denied it. He went and talked to them, and they basically said that they didn't have anyone to replace him, so he couldn't leave. Ridiculous! First of all, they owe him that leave, he has a right to it! And second of all, he's an accountant. Now, I imagine he's probably good at his job, but it's not like he's a rocket scientist or something, can it be that hard to find a replacement accountant?? So he appealed the decision, and they ever so nicely replied with, 'well, ok, you can have off in August.' Great. He starts classes again in August. There's a reason he chose July! He told me that it was really unlikely he'd be able to come in August. Big bummer. Ughh, so now he had the visa appointment all the way in Recife (a flight away), and payments already made for that. He was supposed to have the visa interview on Thursday, but we've both been so busy and out and about that I haven't even had the chance to talk to him to see how it went! Not that it matters anyway...
So basically, they're jerks at his job, and I'm bummed that I don't get to see him and that he doesn't get to come here and visit, meet my family and friends, and just get to understand my life better. I can explain as much as I want, but there's nothing like being in a place to be able to understand it. Hopefully someday he'll get here, but at this point, I don't think it'll be anytime soon. So yeah, that sucks.
I'm not totally distraught though, because I do have a little something up my sleeve, and will probably be seeing him in a few months, but you'll have to wait to hear more about that until things are set, I don't want to jinx it!
For the past several months, I have been content. Dear boyfriend and I were separated by a long distance, living on different continents, but I was fine with how things were going. I missed him, but that intense longing that previously consumed me was gone, because I saw the light at the end of the tunnel.
Now don't get the wrong idea, there's no trouble in paradise. And most days I still feel content, because despite the distance, he makes me happy, and I love him like I never realized I could love anyone. But today is not one of those days. Not because of anything he did or didn't do, but because it's just one of those days that I need him. A day that I wish he was by my side, and not on the other side of my computer. Today, I graduated college. I wish he could have been there before I lined up with my fellow graduating seniors, to reassure me that no, I wasn't going to trip. I wish he could have watched me walk across that stage and cheer when I received my diploma. I wish he could have been there afterwards, to give me a giant hug of congratulations. And most of all, I wish he could be here right now, while I'm alone in my room after saying goodbye to many of my closest friends without knowing when I'll ever see them again. I wish he could be here to celebrate and take my mind off the sadness that is hanging around my like a little cloud, because it's finally becoming real that I'm leaving this place that has really been home to me for the past four years, and leaving some of the most important people in my life. But he couldn't be here. He has work, and school, and lives waaaaay too far away to just come on over for the weekend!
So for now, I'll have to keep faith that we will see each other soon. But that almost makes the longing worse, because knowing the end is in sight makes me want it to be here already. Enough waiting around, I'm ready. I can't wait for the day when sharing these special events is a no-brainer, because we'll be together, and there will be no question whether we'll be able to see each other.
I'll stop complaining now, because I know that I've got something and someone special, and I'm grateful for that. And I'm really proud of myself for graduating college! I'm just in one of those funks...I guess it's about time, it's been a while since I've really missed him this much!
Girl Meets Brazil
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