I'm just a young woman from New Jersey who went to Brazil and fell in love, not just with the country, but with a wonderful Brasileiro from Salvador, Bahia. This is an account of how our crazy situation of living thousands of miles away is working.
There's something to be said for a really good, long conversation. I had one of those with dear boyfriend on our anniversary, and after a week of craziness due to Carnaval happening in Brazil (and him being out partying for a few nights and then away at the beach without internet access) it was just what we needed! We had hardly talked for a week because of both our schedules and the fact that we only communicate online so it can be hard when one person doesn't have internet access. I was especially bummed on Valentine's day because we didn't get to talk, and we didn't even celebrate it much. That's understandable, because we celebrated "Dia dos namorados," which is the Brazilian equivalent of valentine's day, but in June. Plus, I didn't really mention to dear boyfriend how much of a big deal it is here in the U.S., because I didn't really think it would be a big deal, but when the day rolled around I just felt bummed that we weren't together and that he didn't even acknowledge it (again, my fault). In fact, the only thing one of the few things I got for Valentine's day was a card from my Grandma oh so subtly hinting about how my relationship is a bad idea and going to Brazil would be a mistake, and finding a job in the U.S. would be so much better. But that's a story for another day. Just gotta throw out there though, as much as she can be a pain, I love my Abuela (Grandma), and she's been getting a little better about not being rude when she buds in (buts in?) to my love life.
But, I'm not complaining, because dear bf and I have been having some really enjoyable conversations lately and it's just nice! Not that we don't normally enjoy talking to each other, but I guess absence really does make the heart grow fonder...you'd think I'd have figured that one out by now! We talked about the future, about me going there, about him coming to visit here, and about all sorts of funny and entertaining things, including a random discussion of which Portuguese word for 'procrastinate' would be appropriate to use at dinner with the President (don't ask, we're weird). And to top it all off, he got a new computer (a cute little 10in netbook) that has a built in webcam! Which means, it also has a working microphone, so we can actually talk while we're on webcam! And he can use skype to call me. Today I managed to convince him to be less shy of using the webcam (he's generally just not a camera person)and I got to see him for a while, which was so nice. Let's see how long that lasts.
Anyway, things are good. That's all. Okay, maybe not all I'll leave you with this song and music video that never fails to make me smile: Ja sei Namorar by Os Tribalistas (lyrics and translation can be found here)
I haven't forgotten about this blog, I swear! It's the beginning of the semester and I've just been getting into the swing of things, so I got a little distracted! Plus, every time I've thought about how I should write a new post, I didn't know what to write about. To be honest, I still don't really know what I'm going to write about, but I guess I'll just give a little personal update.
Things are still going quite well with dear boyfriend. Right now we're in the process of figuring out the next steps in our relationship and what's going to happen when I graduate this May. As of right now, the likely plan is that I'll find a summer job to save up some money, and then go to Brazil in August/September. I think I'll be staying for about 6 months and teaching English. I would consider staying longer if I thought it were possible, but because of complicated visa issues, it probably isn't. So 6 months it is. I think my parents are happy about that limitation, haha. It should be a bit of a trial run for our relationship, actually being close distance and seeing each other all the time. We're still unsure of what the living situation for us will be, there are so many questions to consider: Do we move in together? If we do, do we rent an apartment, or just rent a room? Is it better to wait and not take that huge leap? Right now dear bf lives with his parents (totally normal in Brazil, even at 25, and is often done until people get married). So we'll see what happens. And of course there's the wondering about how it will feel to be close and not in this LDR anymore. I imagine it might be kind of odd at first, but I know there will be moments of heaven (and probably even a few of hell...but hopefully those will be few and far between!) and I think it will be well worth it.
It's nearly our one year anniversary (yay!) and almost valentines day (boo--I've still never been actually together with any guy on valentine's day, but at least I have someone to celebrate). It's been about 6 months since we've seen each other, and it's actually kind of hard to believe. On the one hand, it's agonizing not to be together, not being able to look longingly into each other's eyes, slip my fingers between his, and do all that sappy but oh-so-enjoyable stuff. On the other hand, I think we've (at least I can speak for myself) gotten used to the distance, and it's become pretty normal. I still miss him like crazy, but somehow I don't feel desperate to see him. Of course, if I had the option, I'd hop on a plane right this second, but my point is that we're making it work, and I think we're about as happy as we could be given the situation! Sadly, it's likely to be at least another 5 months, if not 6 or 7 (eek!) before we see each other again. Plane tickets are really pricey (at least US$1200 this time of year if not more, and almost never under US$800), I have school, he has a full time job and school, so it's just so hard to see each other! The good news is that there is a slight possibility that he'll be able to come visit me here in the U.S. this summer, and while I don't want to get my hopes up, that would be AWESOME!
Basically, it's not an ideal situation, but life is good. We love each other, we're communicating well (hasn't always been so), we miss each other but are taking the distance in stride, and we have hope for the future.
Anybody else out there in an LDR? How are things going for you?
As an aside, I think dear boyfriend met up with my friend from college today, the one who is studying abroad there and delivering my anniversary present to him. He knows that I'm sending something through her, but he has no idea what it is, and was dying to know (but he wasn't hearing a peep out of me!). I can't wait to see his reaction!!!
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