I know, I have been completely MIA! Sorry ladies and gents, I know you must have been seriously disappointed, when you looked for my posts every single day and saw nothing! Just a hint of sarcasm there...
Yeah, it's been two months (crap!) since I've posted. I've decided to take a bit of a hiatus, and put the blog on hold for now. But don't fret, I will definitely be back! This has nothing to do with changes in my relationship (actually, things have never been better), but life is just crazy for me right now! I'm a senior in college, finishing my last semester. I need to graduate here! Basically, I've been stressed and busy, and frankly, I've felt like I don't have much to write about. All is quiet on the relationship front. Things are great, but I have nothing to update you on. And I don't really know what to write about.
So, come May 24th, the day after I graduate, I'll post again (promise!). By then, I should have some definite life decisions made and I may have some more exciting news for you (think going to Brazil...maybe). But until then, I need to hit the books. Trust me, I'd much rather be filling cyber-space with my ramblings, but I just can't right now!
So, please, wait with baited breath. I promise, I'll be back!
I haven't forgotten about this blog, I swear! It's the beginning of the semester and I've just been getting into the swing of things, so I got a little distracted! Plus, every time I've thought about how I should write a new post, I didn't know what to write about. To be honest, I still don't really know what I'm going to write about, but I guess I'll just give a little personal update.
Things are still going quite well with dear boyfriend. Right now we're in the process of figuring out the next steps in our relationship and what's going to happen when I graduate this May. As of right now, the likely plan is that I'll find a summer job to save up some money, and then go to Brazil in August/September. I think I'll be staying for about 6 months and teaching English. I would consider staying longer if I thought it were possible, but because of complicated visa issues, it probably isn't. So 6 months it is. I think my parents are happy about that limitation, haha. It should be a bit of a trial run for our relationship, actually being close distance and seeing each other all the time. We're still unsure of what the living situation for us will be, there are so many questions to consider: Do we move in together? If we do, do we rent an apartment, or just rent a room? Is it better to wait and not take that huge leap? Right now dear bf lives with his parents (totally normal in Brazil, even at 25, and is often done until people get married). So we'll see what happens. And of course there's the wondering about how it will feel to be close and not in this LDR anymore. I imagine it might be kind of odd at first, but I know there will be moments of heaven (and probably even a few of hell...but hopefully those will be few and far between!) and I think it will be well worth it.
It's nearly our one year anniversary (yay!) and almost valentines day (boo--I've still never been actually together with any guy on valentine's day, but at least I have someone to celebrate). It's been about 6 months since we've seen each other, and it's actually kind of hard to believe. On the one hand, it's agonizing not to be together, not being able to look longingly into each other's eyes, slip my fingers between his, and do all that sappy but oh-so-enjoyable stuff. On the other hand, I think we've (at least I can speak for myself) gotten used to the distance, and it's become pretty normal. I still miss him like crazy, but somehow I don't feel desperate to see him. Of course, if I had the option, I'd hop on a plane right this second, but my point is that we're making it work, and I think we're about as happy as we could be given the situation!
Sadly, it's likely to be at least another 5 months, if not 6 or 7 (eek!) before we see each other again. Plane tickets are really pricey (at least US$1200 this time of year if not more, and almost never under US$800), I have school, he has a full time job and school, so it's just so hard to see each other! The good news is that there is a slight possibility that he'll be able to come visit me here in the U.S. this summer, and while I don't want to get my hopes up, that would be AWESOME!
Basically, it's not an ideal situation, but life is good. We love each other, we're communicating well (hasn't always been so), we miss each other but are taking the distance in stride, and we have hope for the future.
Anybody else out there in an LDR? How are things going for you?
As an aside, I think dear boyfriend met up with my friend from college today, the one who is studying abroad there and delivering my anniversary present to him. He knows that I'm sending something through her, but he has no idea what it is, and was dying to know (but he wasn't hearing a peep out of me!). I can't wait to see his reaction!!!
Funny thing, once I started dating a Brazilian (and after falling in love with the country), all things Brazil started to jump out at me. Suddenly my eyes so easily spotted the acai juice on the shelf at the health food store and the Brazilian restaurant in a neighboring town; my ears easily perked up at the sound of people speaking portuguese (wait, "is that portuguese? yup!") on the subway in New York.
But it hasn't just been things related to Brazil that I have been noticing, it's also people! When I got home from my second trip to Brazil in August, it turned out my mom was going to be helping advise a Brazilian girl who was visiting for the year on the same high school exchange program I did a while ago (I went to Costa Rica though). Of course I was excited to meet her, and I shyly but excitedly practiced my portuguese and talked up her wonderful country and showed her around New York a bit. We later ended up going to Brazilian Day in New York (huge festivities, so much fun! think food and music and Brazilians enjoying it!). The same day I met her at the exchange program's event, we both met another girl who had been in Angola for quite some time (a year perhaps) and was engaged to an Angolan guy. A year ago I could have cared less, but hearing that there was someone else crazy enough to be in a long distance relationship and communicate in portuguese was very comforting. Then, of course, there are my friends from college, who I met through a once a week gathering at 'portuguese table' and have since thoroughly enjoyed chatting them up and reminiscing about Brazil! Plus, they always have great language tips and have provided me with a lot of insight on Brazil and its people. Not to mention they're just sweethearts and so much fun! I feel so greatful to have them in my life! I also have a friend from college who studied in Brazil (in Salvador, where Isaque lives), loved it, and is continuing relationship with her Brazilian beau from a distance too. Then there's another girl (who I haven't met but heard about through a Brazilian friend at school) who also studied abroad in Chile, when to Salvador, and is also dating a baiano (a guy from Bahia, the state where Salvador is located)! See? I'm not the only one! I'm telling you, those Brazilian guys are dangerously irresistible, no one leaves Brazil without one!
Traveling in general has made me more aware of how connected we all are, but since going to Brazil I've realized what a small world it really is! Yesterday, I met up with friend who did the same program as me in Chile last semester and was visiting from out of town. She was stying with her college roommate, who joined us for lunch. Turns out her roommate studied in Sao Paulo last semester, now also has a Brazilian bf, and knows two of my college friends who studied in Brazil last semester (one of whom was mentioned above)! Unbeleiveable! Then, I get home and I'm talking online to a college friend who is getting ready to study in Brazil next semester (in the same program as the last girl) and it turns out her host mother knows a friend of mine who also lives in Salvador. My *one* friend in Salvador besides Isaque, and she knows him! It's crazy how our lives are interconnected. I totally beleive that six degrees of seperation stuff!
Anyway, my point is, going to Brazil and dating a Brazilian have opened up my life to all these new connections and I find it pretty neat!
Well, yesterday (December 18th) marked our 10 month anniversary! We haven't really ever done anything to celebrate the 'small' anniversaries, but you bet we will when we hit that one year mark! We've both been super busy with finals so we didn't even get a chance to talk yesterday, but I thought it would be nice to take some time to reflect on the last 10 months, considering that 11 months ago I never would have imagined being in the situation I'm in now!
Some things I've learned in the last 10 months:
- Sometimes when you're scared shitless, you have to take that first baby step of dipping your toe in the water, but then you just have to jump right in! I knew I wanted to develop this relationship with dear bf, but I was scared. Mostly scared of how we would ever make it work, and scared that it would turn out the same as my previous LDR. But he is quite convincing, so here I am. You have to take a chance on happiness!
- Being in an LDR can be a roller coaster ride, but I don't regret it one bit. Sometimes it sucks, not being able to be with your partner. It's hard. You miss them. But I'd rather have a thousand days away from him than not have him in my life at all. Despite our struggles (LDR related an otherwise), he makes me happy. Plus, it gives me the excuse to travel to Brazil, hahah!
- I tend to go through phases of being really interested in something. On a more personal note, I realized that I tend to get really interested (maybe slightly obsessed?) with something. Last year it was travel and backpacking. Now, more specifically, it's Brazil. Not so sure this phase will ware off though! I do, after all, have 20+ brazil related blogs that I follow in google reader, hahaha. But the point is that knowing dear bf has gotten me interested in something new (although I was obviously interested in brazil before, since I decided to go there on my own), and I like getting interested in his country, culture, and language because I think it creates a bit of a better understanding.
- My mom always said that the best way to learn a language is to fall in love, and boy was she right! Though I never doubted that assertion, I sure have learned it for myself! A year ago I would sit in the dining hall at "portuguese table" with some lovely brazilian ladies (who are now dear friends of mine) and try to catch a word here, a word there. When they'd ask me a question, they'd often have to repeat it, and I'd reply in spanish once I understood. I didn't think I'd ever get to the point where I was only communicating (and fairly well, I might add) with someone (dear bf) in portuguese! Ok, so it is frustrating when I can't say exactly what I want to say in exactly the way I want to say it (you wouldn't beleive how we take this for granted in our native language!), but I learn a little bit each day. Definitely some good motivation. And although they are two different languages, being fluent in Spanish certainly helped. Plus, I have to thank my mom for that easy language learning gene (she speaks 5 languages! Ironically, the one romance language she doesn't speak is portuguese). But still...just fall in love with someone who doesn't speak your first language, and you'll be running for that dictionary and babbling in no time!
Ok, I know I've learned a lot more than that, but I can't think of anything else right now, probably due to the ~30 painting names, artisits, and the year painted (plus other random facts/interpretations) that I crammed into my brain for my Art History exam yesterday. I should be working on other finals anyway, ahhh! Maybe I'll write a follow-up post later. And if anyone is actually reading this (whether you know me in real life or not) feel free to comment :)
Beijos (kisses),
Elena
Posted by
Elena B.
9:37 AM
Not that anyone is actually reading this (maybe someday...), but I had to share this website for anyone out there in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR). Loving From A Distance is a website devoted LDRs, and it's GREAT! There is so much on there, from tips to maintain a happy LDR, to inspiring stories, to ideas on fun things to do besides just talk, to gift ideas. One of my favorite parts of the website though is the forums where you can talk to people around the world who understand your situation better. It's a nice place to celebrate the little victories, get advice, or just vent. It's a great community that provides a lot of support, so check it out!
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