Girl Meets Brazil

Sitting, Wishing, Waiting

Posted by Elena B. , Sunday, May 23, 2010 5:55 PM

For the past several months, I have been content. Dear boyfriend and I were separated by a long distance, living on different continents, but I was fine with how things were going. I missed him, but that intense longing that previously consumed me was gone, because I saw the light at the end of the tunnel.

Now don't get the wrong idea, there's no trouble in paradise. And most days I still feel content, because despite the distance, he makes me happy, and I love him like I never realized I could love anyone. But today is not one of those days. Not because of anything he did or didn't do, but because it's just one of those days that I need him. A day that I wish he was by my side, and not on the other side of my computer. Today, I graduated college. I wish he could have been there before I lined up with my fellow graduating seniors, to reassure me that no, I wasn't going to trip. I wish he could have watched me walk across that stage and cheer when I received my diploma. I wish he could have been there afterwards, to give me a giant hug of congratulations. And most of all, I wish he could be here right now, while I'm alone in my room after saying goodbye to many of my closest friends without knowing when I'll ever see them again. I wish he could be here to celebrate and take my mind off the sadness that is hanging around my like a little cloud, because it's finally becoming real that I'm leaving this place that has really been home to me for the past four years, and leaving some of the most important people in my life. But he couldn't be here. He has work, and school, and lives waaaaay too far away to just come on over for the weekend!

So for now, I'll have to keep faith that we will see each other soon. But that almost makes the longing worse, because knowing the end is in sight makes me want it to be here already. Enough waiting around, I'm ready. I can't wait for the day when sharing these special events is a no-brainer, because we'll be together, and there will be no question whether we'll be able to see each other.

I'll stop complaining now, because I know that I've got something and someone special, and I'm grateful for that. And I'm really proud of myself for graduating college! I'm just in one of those funks...I guess it's about time, it's been a while since I've really missed him this much!

Posted in boyfriend