Posts
Graduating
Posted by Elena B. , Saturday, May 15, 2010 12:23 PM
So I just finished watching the most depressing episode of the t.v. show Private Practice , and I decided I needed to do a little something positive. So why not post to my semi-neglected blog and share/celebrate the fact that I'm graduating college? As a side note, I can't tell you how nice it was to go out last night with friends (I usually work friday nights), sleep in today, and then laze around and watch three t.v. shows! It has been ages since I've done that!
I'm done. I wrote my last paper, took my last final exam, pulled my last (two) all-nighters. What a relief, it was really down to the wire there, so glad crunch time is over!
So yeah, I'm graduating! It's crazy, and great, and terrifying, and sad, and a relief, and by next weekend when I actually graduate, I'm sure I'll be more emotional than a bi-polar, hormonal pregnant woman.
Right now it's just finally really hitting me. Everyone has moved out of the dorms except seniors and reunion workers. I said goodbye to my underclass friends, realizing that I may never see some of them again. And I've been avoiding thinking about leaving my closest senior friends. We still have a week (oh my goodness, we only have a week!) left together. Luckily, we get a 'senior week' gap in between finals and graduation, and me and a few friends are going to a friend's lake house in New Hampshire. I'm so grateful to have this time to spend with my closest friends to just hang out and enjoy each other's company without worrying about the paper that's due tomorrow or the meeting I have to go to in 20 minutes. But it still makes me sad not knowing when we'll see each other again. At the same time, these are some of the people I love most in this world, and I have no doubt we'll stay in touch.
It's not just sad, it's scary too. Even though I have a rough plan for after graduation (more on that in another post), it's terrifying realizing that suddenly I'm supposed to be a 'grown up.' Up to this point, my life has been more or less planned out for me. Elementary school, middle school, high school, college...those were all given things in my life (and I was luckily to be in a position to have that privilege). Now, suddenly, it's up to me. I get to decide. In one sense, that is so empowering. On the other hand, it's overwhelming, choosing the direction of the rest of my life! Now, realistically, I know this isn't 'the rest of my life,' I'm sure no matter what I do now immediately after college there will be surprises and changes. But there is still that pressure of "so what are you doing after graduation?" And actually, I'm pretty excited about my plans. I'll tell you about those later. But I'm not gonna lie, it's still nerve-wracking!
As ridiculous as my range of emotions is right now, I still know that I'm ready to graduate. I love this place, Mount Holyoke, and if I had to decide again I would still have come here, but a lot of the time it is a really stressful environment, and I'm really happy to take a break from academics. I'm tired of studying. That doesn't mean I never want to be a student again, because it's really a special experience and there have been times where I've really enjoyed it. But right now, even though it's intimidating to go into the 'working world,' I'm so ready to be done with papers and exams and reading 23/7.
So here goes....one week left until I'm officially done with college!
I like studying and I like reading, but college consumed me a lot too. So I completely understand you. Luckily, I still talk to some of my friends from college on a daily basis, but although we live in the same state, we don't hang out so much.