Back home that is. Which means I've left Brazil, and left meu amor. This afternoon, after sulking around the house in my PJ's all day and watching TV, I went out. My mission? Chocolate. Yes, I made a trip to the convenience store a mile down the road just to get chocolate, obviously because it would make me feel better and surely serve as a good companion to combat the loneliness and fill up that empty feeling I had. And what did I come back with? A bag of M&Ms, a chocolate bar, chocolate cookies, and a 6-pack of Magic Hat (beer). As tempted as I was to shove it all in my mouth the moment I got in the car, I had to wait to consume the beer so I figured I'd wait to eat the chocolate too. When I got home, it was nearly time for dinner, and so I actually managed to restrain myself. Since dinner, I've only eaten the pack of cookies (yes, the whole pack), and never even got around to the chocolate. Luckily, dear bf came online in time to save me from gaining 5 pounds (and from gaining a big ole stomach ache) in one night.
Being back sucks. Sure, it's nice to see my family, and to talk to my friends. But despite the pack of cookies and two beers, I feel empty inside. Hollow. If you dropped a pebble inside me I'm sure it would bounce around and cause a as much ruckus as if it were inside a dried out gourd. I want him back. I want us back. Yes, we're still an 'us,' but it's not the same.
What's the next step? We'll have to see. Perhaps he'll come for a visit this winter, but I'm not counting on it, as it's very hard for him to get time off both work and school. Hopefully I'll be going there in March, probably to stay a while and teach English. But that's not an official declaration, as our plans still need to be solidified. All I know is that we love each other very much, and we want to be together, in the same place at the same time, like a 'normal' couple. Is that so much to ask? So we'll see how well me succeed at making that actually happen.
Any suggestions for how to cope with the seperation? I know it will get slightly easier (or at least feel more normal) as time goes on, but right now it kills. It's not even like this is the first time. But it doesn't get any easier.
There's really so much to say about my trip, and about seeing dear boyfriend again, but it's a bit overwhelming. So I'll start with the concrete. I wanted to keep consistenly updated here, but since the hotel's wi-fi hasn't worked since I got here a week ago, that was trickier than planned!
Besides the requisite time on the beach, I've gotten to visit some other cool places during my time here in Salvador. Last saturday evening Dear BF and I met up with a friend of mine from college who is living here, and her boyfriend. We actually went to a party in this little bookstore! It was like nothing I've been to before and not what I expected for my first night out in Brazil (well, first night in over a year). It was this little upstairs bookshop, and they had moved the shelves and covered them all in bubble wrap. The music was kind of a mix of reggae, dancehall, and some other stuff, not much of it brazilian. The DJ was good though, and we had a blast, until we had to escape from the suffocating heat (upstairs bookstores aren't well ventilated the way night clubs are!).
Before heading out for the evening.
Then on sunday, my friend R invited us to a restuarant on the other side of the bay, and then dear BF was nice enough to play chouffer and take us around the city a bit, because R had someone visiting through couchsurfing who was spending her fisrt day in Salvador. It worked out quite perfectly actually, because she spoke portuguese very well and we all just spoke in portuguese. It's odd though speaking to other Americans in portuguese, when you know you could be talking to them in English. Do you find that as well?
First, we headed to Ribeira, a neighborhood in the northern part of the city, and took a little boat over to the other side of the bay to a neighborhood called Plataforma. The boat ride was just so relaxing end enjoyable, I wouldn't have minded staying on there all afternoon!
On the boat over to Plataforma (the two on the left are our friends)
Plataforma is a humble neighborhood (though not a favela) on the water's edge. It has these train tracks that run through it and this cool abandoned building when you first get off the boat.
Plataforma
In plataforma, we headed to Boca da Galinha, a simple, local restaurant that's supposed to have some of the best food around. Dear BF didn't even want to go when my friend R invited us, for fear that there would be nothing for the vegetariana (me) to eat. But I convinced him, and I'm glad I did because it turned out just fine. While everyone else feasted on Moqueca (a traditional Bahian dish of shrimp made with dende--palm oil), I satisfied my appetite with the sides that came with it, mainly rice, beans, and okra. The place was packed--it was Sunday afternoon, after all--and it took us forever to order our food, but we enjoyed ourselves.
Moqueca
Then we headed to the Igreja do Bonfim, which I had been to a couple times, and got the necessary Fitas do Bonfim, which are these colorful ribbons that are supposed to bring good luck and you get three wishes when someone ties it on your arm with three knots. I passed on the tieing it on as a bracelet since the one I got a year and a half ago only fell off about a month ago!
We also had to stop for ice cream (of course!) at the Sorveteria da Ribeira, which is supposed to be the best ice cream in town. They have a ton of crazy flavors, and I got Milho Verde, which is corn flavor! Sounds weird, but it's actually good. Our couchsurfing friend got Tapioca, and that was really good. She also was forced to eat a bite of dear BF's icecream by surprise, but that's another story. But my favorite flavor was definitely dear bf's, condensed milk flavored icecream with chocolate shell on the top. Yummmmmm! Can you tell I loooooove ice cream?
Me trying to steal dear bf's ice cream :P
We were were all ice-creamed out, we headed to this cool fort, sat around, did some people watching, and saw sea cockroaches crawling along the wall. Yup, they're like little cockroaches, but water inhabiting versions. Gross!
After that we headed to Solar do Unhao, one of my favorite places in the city, which has an art museum, is a historic site with old buildings, and is right on the water. It's a great spot for watching the sunset, and appartenly for trying to push the old mini-railcars along the long unused tracks, as we found out. This got quite a laugh out of all of us, especially the Bahiano guys who had been there many times and never thought to attempt this sillyness:
Taking in the nice view (sorry for the quality, it was tricky lighting).
Dear bf had a field day taking pictures the whole day, which I found hilarious because during my last visit, he shied away from the camera every time I tried to take a picture of anything! But I guess he was practicing, because I brought for him this awesome underwater camera from the U.S. (it was only $120, when in Brazil it would have been triple that). We have yet to test it, I think he's scared it'll get messed up, but I've seen other people's underwater videos from the same cam and they're awesome! We're going to a frien'ds beachhouse tonight, so hopefully we'll get a chance to see how it works.
Anyway, during the week I've been mostly hanging out on my own at the beach, which has been nice, but the evenings get a little lonely waiting around for dear bf to get back from classes and not really want to go out on my own at night. I'm am so glad to be here though, and want to take advantage of these next 3 (ahhh, only 3) days here!
More to come later...
Beijos!
I get to see him in less than a week! Finally! It was a last minute trip, just bought the ticket a little over a week ago. It didn't feel real for a while, until yesterday, when I was driving a long way and thinking about him, listening to music, and it suddenly hit me. Yes, we really are going to be together, in real life, in the same place. And it's about time! It has been a year, yes, and entire year since we've seen each other! I can't believe it. In some ways it has been torture, but it also doesn't even feel like that long. But I'm really happy, and I'll be there for a week and a half. Which isn't very long, but hey, it's better than nothing!
Oh, so many things I can't wait for. I can't wait for that first kiss (well not first kiss, but first kiss in a loooooong time). I can't wait to sit on the praia do porto, eating some queijo and drinking agua de coco. I can't wait to sit next to my love and just have a normal conversation, with subtle caresses and slaps on the arm for emphasis, with sly smiles and giggles and all those wonderful parts of expression that can't come across through the internet.
I just feel so grateful that we've finally, through all the ups and downs, gotten the chance to be together again. Only time will tell what happens in the future, how we'll figure out all the complicated parts of our relationship. But for now, I'm just excited, because it's real. It's happening. Yes! And, I will do my very best to keep you updated now that I will actually have things to share on this blog! Anyone have suggestions of things to do/places to go in Salvador? I've done most of the normal touristy things, so I'm looking for other suggestions.
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